If you are anywhere near Arizona you have heard a story of a 45 year old man who shot his wife and 2 (aged 8 and 10) kids in the head before he turned the gun on himself. Go to Google News and search it and you will see headlines such as “Pinal County shooting kills 2 children, man inside home”. This story kept me up, sleepless, last night but not only because it is a horrible story but because the shooter, Gilbert Ramos was a friend and former co-worker of mine. I am not sure how to feel at all about this. Gilbert was an amazing person. I contribute so much of how I am today, professionally and as a person to his guidance. He honestly directly affected me personally in such a positive manner that hearing this news has left me baffled. How could a devoted family man who contributed so much positivity to everyone around him hold this type of capability. I know how he felt about his kids. How he always said he would die for them. How he loved his wife, Sandra…and life in general. I am in disbelief….

I stayed up last night thinking about it…rationalizing that it was all a dream. Just as I did when I found out my brother died. I am never good at dealing with death, and in this situation, do you grieve someone who u know and love but who performed such a horrific act? And I lay in bed thinking “why did he do it?”. It is so out of character. Why did this jolly sociable guy determine this was his only path? I wracked my brain…I swear since I’ve known him the only worry he has had is money. It had to have been driven by financial problems, maybe? i dont know. His surviving sons, Devon & Chris, I know and I feel horrible for. I cant imagine what they are going through.Watching Devon grow up, practicing his skills on the bowling lane I would have never imagined he would have to go through something so horrible at the age of 18. His sisters who adored him, and who he adored in return. He was the rock of his family. He was devoted to them all. Now this? I want to just remember him like I knew him. The forever smiling guy with the infectious laugh who was always trying to get a chuckle out of you. This guy:

It would be harder if I was still in Arizona, seeing the story blasted all over the news. I am sure so many people are bad mouthing him…people who didnt know him. And they will say that “everyone is always in disbelief”, that “people who knew him didnt know what happened behind closed doors”. But that’s a cop out. He didnt have an enemy in the world, and for good reason. He was an amazing person. And yes, it’s cliche, “but how the hell could this had happened?!” People should really leave the judgement to god. People who know him are already questioning him and themselves. We emailed after I moved and I just keep wondering if I tried to stay in better contact could I have been an outlet for him to vent to? Would it have made a difference? For the families left behind, this is all fresh and new and they really need to mourn this tragedy. Only Gil knows what was going on in his head. My thoughts and prayers are with the family and with Sandra to pull through.

Rest in peace.

how u gonna bit my movie man? are u serious?? they can just drop any record these days.

ok can i just say that this is like a whole new world. in true kellee fashion i have let my laundry pile up so high that i have literally worn everything i have and am forced to do laundry. doing it in the basement would have taken all day long and i have the tendancy to not do it since it is so convenient…so i figured i would do it at a laundrymat. good idea right? ……….

first off i load my car up with my laundry. drive over (mind you its 3 blocks away) but i have no other way to get all these clothes and towels there. cant find parking so i end up parking a block away anyway and lug the stuff up a hill into the laundromat.

i get in there and start loading stuff in the only free machine cuz this place is packed. then im like, SH*T i forgot my detergent at home! so i walk all the way home cuz im really not moving my car, and get it. good thing cuz it gave me a chance to grab my laptop.

I come back and i put the detergent in the powder and the some in the liquid cuz i didnt know what i was doing. i mean comon…why separate it? So now im praying that the bubbles dont overflow out of the machine. then i notice its 12 QUARTERS TO START THIS! OMG IS THIS MACHINE MADE OF GOLD?! no one here speaks english so im just chilling. i tap into someones unsecure network and POW i am connected to the net.

i just figured out that these machines are like huge machines so not only did i not put too much detergent i didnt put enuff! FML! too late now.

and now im glancing at the dryers. i have no idea what to do with those. it says its 25 cents for a certain amount of time, which i have no idea how much time. and HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOWHOW MUCH TIME IT WILL TAKE?! i feel so noob.

so this will teach me to do my laundry little at a time so it wont pile up and i can just use the basement machine.

yea right…like that will happen -_- i need a maid.

or maybe next time ill go this route!

Can you believe this chick is 9 years old! I guess have millions of dollars backing you dont hurt. go girl…